acid erotica – deep blue

by Kate Channer

I spent time with a friend dancing to hip hop. We talked through the love worries that I had. She didn’t listen so much to my words but she listened. She gave me some red lipstick that would apparently look good, and since I put it on meant that I wanted to go out and flirt. We danced and I felt the confidence run through my body,



to my toes, hues of purple and red shimmered through and out of my limbs. As we sat and gazed at the storm outside, the shade of green that took hold of the night was telling of the trip about to be embarked upon.

We left in a rush. Hurried by previous dinner plans. I stepped off the u Bahn alone, to go home, but the sheets of white that covered everything turned to glitter in my eyes and I could not resist exploring solo through the streets. So I did. Turning corners, pleasantly lost, each step a satisfying crunch. The cold made my body feel warm and healthy, plump like a plum underneath the thick layers. A red, rosy tint and slightly moist shine destined for the curves of my skin. Tiny beads of sweat dripping over gleaming, luscious body parts. I stomped to music, felt the slowly drifting flakes of frosty fluff on my face and eventually went home.

Engulfed by the dimly lit four walls of my apartment, I slunk into a sensuous confinement felt only by me and proceeded to set myself tasks to continue into the night. There was, however, distraction. Icy, baby blue eyes and welcoming, dilated pupils caught my attention in a swift moment as I crossed the mirror. 

It’s time to sit down.

Observing in wonder my own existence, I marveled at the beauty of the human in front of me. Every human is incredibly, otherworldly beautiful the closer you look at them, the more you can see their eyelashes flutter, their every facial expression and how you can watch their senses working. The closer you are to them the closer you are to what they might do to you. But I am the other, here. Soft movements whisper a lower calling, most of my body touches the floor and my thighs beg to be squeezed. Drifting in and out of this world and my own world, fantasy begins to take over. A dark velvet cape covers my inner vision scattered with little shooting stars as I reach to stroke my stomach, caressing 

Illustrations: Kate Channer.


For moments, I look into the mirror, reminding myself who is who and how I look after I slip off my underwear. Brushing my inner legs and the front of my pussy, my body smiles from the inside and beckons me further. What to do next? I take rests, and breathe, feeling the erotic energy make my body pulse and send invitations to my hands to continue, please. I’ll do anything. Repetition makes my head spin, and the gap between reality and pleasure blends into one thing, something, or nothingness. This is all there is. There is nothing but this. Grabbing my body, pulling parts of skin that fit perfectly in my palm, I find myself in circular motions with my fingers around,


and round,


I’m in love with my shadow.

Illustration: Kate Channer

Split between two dimensions. My mind cums first, not surprisingly. I always think too much before I act. Here I am, inside a swirling brain pleasure attack. It’s a heavy drop off the edge of my thoughts. It feels as though the sides of my mind rush together to form larger parts as those magnetise to one another too, coming together in the middle, in a cataclysmic event that shatters the possibility of anything else that could happen in this moment. Complete presence. Clinging to the edge of my own name, my body begins to tremble. Writhing, twisting legs and arms. Pleasure crawls like fast motion tree roots wrapping around the trunk of a tree and I throb, deeper and deeper. Everything feels violent, I’ve tied myself up, to be released. Silky moans roll off my lips and out of my hips. It’s an orgasm I’ve never had before, separating mind and body, letting me down gently, leaving me lifeless.

Who knows what I did in that dark 

as I sunk

into deep blue