verlaat me niet – helena

Who am I?

My alias is Helena (she/her).

If we would live in a world where that would be enough, I would just call myself that. Helena.

But in this world labels, safety and a general idea of where we can place someone, matters.

With whom do you belong?
Who do you know?
What do you do?
Where do you come from?
Where are you going?
What do you like?
Who do you like?
What do you want to be when you
grow up?

Honestly, I don’t know the answer to a lot of these questions. Or maybe the answer is not mine to give – it is the outside world that has gifted them to me.

So, this is me through the eyes of my lovers, loved ones, friends, family.

Free spirit. Jack of all traits. Dynamic. City crawler and part-time community creature.

Feminist. Hippy. Self aware. Sensual. Stubborn. Obsessed. Dreamer. Chaotic. Optimist. Pacifist. Golden heart. Powerful. Impulsive. Vulnerable. Emotional. Kind hearted. Beautiful. Spontaneous. Humble. In search of love. Driven. Erotic. Unique. Poet.

I would like to take you on my sexual voyage here as part of the Pleasure Society.

Together, we will explore erotica, poetry, sensuality, female power, non-monogamy, vulnerability, love and heartbreaks and what it means to be a 28 years old woman in the city of Amsterdam. I’ll share my words, thoughts and my feelings with you. Sometimes in English, sometimes in Dutch, but always coming from my heart.

This first piece speaks of the vulnerability and desperation that we can sometimes feel when we are in love. It made me question what love is.

When we desire someone so much and feel we cannot breathe without them, is this love?

Photo: Max van der Voort